Posts Tagged ‘high school’

  • My Awesome Weekend

    By coverthomo

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    This weekend, my best friend from high school came into the city and I had a blast. It was a much needed break from life and my busy schedule.

    He came in Friday evening. We walked around the city for a while and just hung out and talked. We had a couple of drinks at a bar. It was a good time. He asked me what I found physically attracted about him. That was slightly awkward but I told him and he seems really comfortable around me which is really nice. He knows that I think he is attractive.

    The next evening we went out and he told me that he felt I was holding things back from him and that he knows I trust him and that he was always there to talk. The night went on, we had some more drinks at the place I always go. I am friends with the manager and the staff there so there were lots of drinks all around. I never get drunk. It is not like me at all. But that night I did. On the way back to my place, I just flat out told him about Tony and how I had told him I loved him and how that didn’t go over so well. We made it back to my place and we were both sitting on the couch and I just spilled everything I felt. He kept telling me I was his best friend and everything was going to be okay and other things. He was so sweet. I ended up almost in his arms. He was holding my hand and I just kept going on and tearing up.

    I needed to do that for so long and I need to open up more often. I guess I have a problem being comfortable enough around people to tell them all of this in person rather than online. It was amazing. I feel like a load was taken off of my shoulders.

    He is an amazing guy. I am so lucky to have him as a friend. I am planning something special for him coming up so if all goes well with that I will let you know. Until then, I am going to continue as usual. I feel a lot better and I am planning some things for Spring Break and taking some time off. Right now I feel excited and I feel light and somewhat carefree. I am going to enjoy it while I can.

    Posted on February 1, 2010 to:

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  • The Straight Best Friend

    By coverthomo

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    Lately, I have had a couple of conversations about my best friend and the dynamics of of the gay man/straight man “best friendship.”

    Let me provide you with my story. My best friend was the first person that I came out to. We both went to high school together and had several classes together. He was your typical jock back then. He was on the soccer team and was the star of the track team. He had a very cute girlfriend who he was truly in love with. I was more of the quiet guy who wasn’t really popular and never really spend much time around school after hours.

    I came out to him one day over instant message during our freshman year of college. He was the first person I told and my heart was racing, I was sweating as I typed in that message. After I hit that send button there was nothing that I could but sit in anticipation. This was his message in response:

    “thats perfectly fine with me dude.. to each his own…. there is nothing wrong with that or how you want to live your life.. if anything ur prolly the smart one.. u dont wanna live with a woman trust me haha.. but yeah dude, ur a good guy, and i respect that u were able to tell me that too. its takes a lot of courage… it takes a lot of guts to tell people something like that… some people care about these things and are weirded out by it, but i respect u and i appreciate the friendship that we have… if this is how u feel there is nothing i can do about it.. I accept you for you”

    I don’t think there is anything more that he could have said to put me at ease. I felt so relieved, so grateful.

    Today, we are still great friends. We often talk with each other about life how old we are getting. When we were kids, we always talked about how we were both going to be successful when we got out of our small towns and now we look back at that and laugh because we are part of the few that did get out and are making something of ourselves. He always comes to me seeking relationship advice which I am always happy to give. We have been making more and more of an effort to hang out together when we can. I am planning on having him over for a weekend in a couple weeks. We don’t talk much about my being gay which frankly, is fine by me. Him seeing me as much more than that is just what I wanted. I feel comfortable talking with him though. Recently when I was going through a rough time, he sensed something was wrong and we were able to talk about it. He truly is a great friend and I am honored to have him in my life.

    I know that coming out to a straight friend may not always go as well as it did for me. Do you have a straight best or close friend? How did he react when you told him you were gay? Are you still close? Let me know in the comments.

    Posted on January 19, 2010 to:

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  • What I Learned From My Trip

    By coverthomo

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    A week ago at this very moment, I was checking out of my hotel. A week has passed and I have needed it to process how I feel about everything.

    I think that this week has affirmed a lot of feelings that I have towards him as well as brought us closer a little bit.

    I got to see his family, his room, all of the things he made in shop class in high school. There were racing posters all over his walls. The room looks like he hadn’t ever touched it since he left home for college.

    We went downstairs and he played his piano and his guitar. He is even better in person than in the recordings. His mother and I watched and talked about him for a couple minutes as he played.

    We went to dinner and we talked about his boyfriend. I really got the sense that he really likes him and that made me feel a little more at peace. We went to a local brew pub later and had a couple drinks and then drove around town for a while. He showed me his high school and the parking lot that he would sit in and get high at night when he was in high school. We just drove around for a few hours looking at all of the different sights before he dropped me off at my hotel.

    The next day was the day I left. He met me at my hotel. His hair wasn’t done in the usual sexy way, just toweld dried from the shower. He seemed a little sad. We both were. We went to a little shopping plaza and just walked around for a while. We were not our usual goofy selves.

    We got lunch and then made our way to the airport. We had time to kill. We were parking at the airport and his boyfriend called. The speaker was turned up loud enough so I could hear his voice. He now felt real.

    We went inside, both not saying much. We made the way to the gate and said our goodbyes. I hugged him and then watched as he walked away. He turned back twice and waved a bit before he was gone.

    I made my way through security and got a soda for the flight. I sat waiting to board and needed to talk to someone. I called my mom. She asked why I was sad. I told her that I didn’t want to leave and I started crying. She told me that I was young and that I should do whatever makes me happy. For once she had something helpful to say.

    I cried most of the flight home. All I could think about was how much I cared about him and how much I wished I could tell him. I was also thinking how much I wanted to kiss him and just hold him or lie in bed with him. At this point I knew that that is never going to be possible, which made it that much worse.

    I think he sensed what I was feeling and maybe felt bad or maybe wished I would address it. Maybe he felt at least some of the same things to some degree. Either way, he was different then.

    I have had a week to think about everything. What I have come away with thus far is that I love him and care about him deeply. I want him to be happy. I want to be the best friend I can be for him and I want to be special to him on some level.

    This trip was good for me. I don’t regret anything. I had a great time and I loved seeing where he comes from and what he was like before I knew him. I hope I get to go visit him again soon.

    Posted on November 1, 2009 to:

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  • Glee-My New Guilty Pleasure

    By coverthomo

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    This summer, I watched the pilot episode of Glee. I was instantly, and shockingly hooked to this show. The idea is that this teacher in a high school wants to take over the Glee Club at the school he teaches at. The story follows the story of all of the students that he can get to join the club as well as his own.

    The actors fit the parts very well. My favorite character, Finn is certainly easy on the eyes. There is a scene in the pilot episode with him singing in the shower that shows off his talent. Listen to him talk about the show here.

    The Club has sang covered some songs that I have downloaded from iTunes where you can also download the episodes in HD.

    They just aired their second show this week on Fox. It airs Wednesdays at 9PM EST.

    Of course, this show must have a huge gay following. One girl in the show has two dads, and there have been several other times when they mention gay people in particular how these expecting parents mentioned that their child may be gay in a happy tone. I thought that this was interesting. It will be interesting to see where things go in terms of the development of this theme. Maybe my crush, Finn will go both ways or something. (Wishful thinking, I know.)

    Anthony and I both watched it this week and then chatted online about how much we loved it. His favorite character is Mercedes who plays the soul singer/ diva in the club. He suggested that I write a post about it.

    So everyone, watch the show. It is a little campy but the script is awesome and the characters are well developed. It is worth a watch.

    Posted on September 12, 2009 to:

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  • Dear Boy

    By coverthomo

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    LetterDear Eric, you were the first boy I loved. You made me feel so special when you told me that you loved me. You are a beautiful person. I know that my childish lies got in the way. I still think about you all the time. Thank you for your forgiveness. You deserve the world, and you will have it.

    Dear Chad, you were my first crush. Your smell in 8th Grade English class cinched the deal for me. That first day was the day I knew I was different. I lusted over you for a couple years. Remember that time when you took your shirt off and laid on my bed? I do. I didn’t wash those sheets for months. My how you have changed since then.

    Dear Zack, you were my buddy in high school. You told me things that you told no one else. You trusted me. I felt safe with you do. I loved reading your writing and I wish we still talked. Call me sometime.

    Dear Kurt, you are a character. I am still not sure what to make of my crush on you. The night I told you I loved you was exhilarating. I told you more in that phone conversation the other night than most close to me could ever hope to know. You are a great guy and I hope you find your way to happiness. You are a good friend and I will always care about you.

    Dear Tony, you are my best friend and I love you so incredibly much. We have had some fun times together and share so many experiences. We share our lives uncensored with each other. You have made me a better person. I truly look forward to being best friends forever. I will never let you settle for less than you deserve. You have so much going for you. I can’t wait to see what your future brings.

    Dear Anthony, you’re such a sweet guy. When I thought that there could not be someone as sappy as I am, you came along and proved me wrong. You make me happy especially when you work that smile and those eyes of yours. The time you came over and fell asleep in my arms during the movie was amazing. Thank you for all of your advice in the past. You have helped me a great deal. You are an amazing guy and are going to make some guy very happy.

    Your’s Truly,

    CH

    Posted on August 24, 2009 to:

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  • A High School Crush

    By coverthomo

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    Has there ever been a song that you haven’t heard in a while that brings you back to a particular moment in your life that you have almost forgot about?

    I was out getting lunch this afternoon and this song played there as I was enjoying my lunch. It brought me back to my senior year of high school and made me think of a guy that I really liked.

    There was a guy that I was really good friends with. We met in a class we both had together. Over a year or so we became good friends and confided in each other. He of course had no idea that I was gay but I always knew that he would be okay with him. There were a couple times that I tried to tell him but it never came out.

    I really liked him as a friend and I would have liked him as more than that. Let’s just say that I had a pretty big crush on him. I remember listening to this song then and it always pumped me up to tell him. I still think that if I told him, it would have brought us a lot closer and in a sense, I regret not doing it.

    I graduated from high school and moved away. He was a year behind me. When I got out for winter break my first year, I went back to my high school and saw him and a teacher I had a lot of classes with with him. She let us hang out in the teacher’s lounge. That was the last time I saw him. We still talk a couple times a year, always saying that we are going to meet up sometime when I come home. We never do. We have  changed in our own ways. I am off in the city living my busy life, he is back home working as a firefighter. Memories of him are definitely the better ones that I have from that time period.  I still smile a lot when I think about him.

    Do any of you have a high school crush story? Tell me in the comments!

    Posted on May 21, 2009 to:

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  • The Internet and its Conductivity To Virtual Relationships

    By coverthomo

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    A conversation with a fellow blogger Bryan, made me think about what it is that I seek when meeting people online. In the past, I have had several close relationships with people on the internet. I am curious if I am alone in this or if it has become a norm of my generation. I am also curious as to why developing this relationship online is so much more successful. Some of my very best friends are those I have met online and some I have never met in person.

    The first significant person that I met online was a guy named Eric. Eric and I met under some very odd circumstances online. He was the first guy that I told I loved. I had a very rough childhood and Eric was always there to help. He was in college as I was in high school. Unfortunately, there is a sad story behind it but we don’t talk any more. I still think about him every day.

    Joe and I met on a gay teen website. He was struggling with some very serious issues such as growing up as a gay Catholic in the Midwest. We shared stories and advice. We always appreciate each others company and insight. We still talk a few times a week. I have never met Joe in person, but I intend to soon.

    Back in the day, I had another blog which has since been taken down and I met Kurt on there. Kurt is a guy from California who commented on my blog once and we started talking and hit it off. Kurt and I became good friends and offered each other advice. Again, Kurt is a bit older than I am. Feelings got a little carried away I think on both of our parts but after a while I ended up getting hurt. Looking back, at the time I was angry and upset. Now, I just see how foolish I was for getting that emotionally invested in someone who could never really work out. Kurt and I have not met, hopefully this will happen soon.

    The most recent guy has been the one that visited this January. I have gone into extensive detail about him in the past so I am going to spare the details now. We are best friends for sure but there are more feelings on my end. I know that things will never work out with him, and I am coming to peace with that. Anthony has helped out with this.

    So I ask, “Why do all of these significant relationships start online?” I think part of the answer is simply, the internet provides a place for people with similar interests to come together and talk. I think the other part has to do with the internet being an anonymous place that is more conductive to people revealing parts of themselves because they don’t have to look someone in the eye to tell them what they want them to know. I can sit here alone in my office and pour details about my life into my computer because it is just me and my computer. I know that some people from my “real life” read this blog and there are things in here that I don’t think I could tell them in person simply because some things are not that easy to share.

    The people I have met online have certainly shaped who I am as a person and the internet has provided me the opportunity to meet some amazing people I would not have otherwise had. It is an amazing feeling to feel so much care, concern, and even love for a person that you have never met face to face. It’s a feeling I know I will continue to have for a long time to come.

    Posted on May 11, 2009 to:

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  • Howard Stern on Gay Rights and Gay Marriage

    By coverthomo

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    I have never really appreciated Howard Stern much. I remember watching his show in high school. I always remember him having these bimbo women on his show and it had very little substance other than talking about her body. In the past couple years, I have began to realize the good that he has done.

    Howard Stern has been a huge First Amendment supporter and advocator. Due to the fact that his show is sometimes pushing the edge in terms of the appropriateness of its content, Stern was forced off of radio and now has a massive following on satellite radio where he now has a massive following.

    Regardless, the points he makes here are some of the same arguments that I have thought about for a long time. Religion should play very little if any role in a sexuality conversation. Being gay is not something that you can change, its something you are born with. Who in their right mind would want to be in that situation? Better yet, who in their right mind would spend their time trying to stop that from happening?

    Growing up, I had always wanted to have a wife and kids and be like all of the other guys but that was never really in the cards for me and I always had that at the back of my mind.

    I now think that I can be just as happy being married to a man and having children. It may be challenging, but it is exciting. I think that within my lifetime or even the next twenty years, we will see gay rights become the next Civil Rights Movement. It is exciting to think that I am going to be part of it.

    Posted on April 30, 2009 to:

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  • I love the Phelps Family

    By coverthomo

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    Oh my dear Phelps Family,
    It has been a great couple years watching you make a complete ass out of yourselves. Protesting soldiers funerals was not exciting enough for you so now it is time to move on to protest the naming of a high school. Really? You have nothing better to do? I will give you credit for one thing. You all have so much passion. It’s a shame that your wasting it on protesting the name of a school. What happened to helping the sick and homeless? Is that not something that your church thinks is important? Oh thats right. The gays need to be reminded they are going to hell. Screw the sick and hungry.

    My Dear in the Gap shirt and cut off jeans, did you know that GAP is based in San Francisco and is considered one of the most gay friendly companies in the country? You best stick to Wal Mart for all of your fashion essentials. I don’t think the children in chinese sweatshops have time to even think about their sexuality.

    There has been talk about a suicide of the members your church. That would clearly illustrate just how crazy you all are. Now I may hate you and your beliefs, but please don’t kill yourself. I don’t know where I would turn to see a bunch of religious fanatics dancing on the sidewalks with pretty posters.

    As for your children- spare them. I am not a religious man but I think they can be saved. A friend of mine and his partner have been looking for a child to adopt. They are some of the most caring people I know. They will teach your children how to love because clearly what they are doing out on the streets with you proves they are not getting enough at home.

    All the best,

    THE COVERT HOMO

    Posted on April 28, 2009 to:

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  • Online Friends

    By coverthomo

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    Joe

    Joe

    Growing up in a small rural town, certainly has some downsides especially for a gay teen. When I was growing up, I really didn’t have any neighbors my age around. My interest for computers flourished once I knew what power the internet had.

    I was part of an online forum called Chadzboyz. In their forum, I met other people that were gay like me that were reaching out to find someone to talk to. One of the friends that I have met was my friend Joe.

    Joe grew up in the Bible Belt. He lived with his very Catholic parents there. Joe and I started talking on a very regular basis. We became close very fast because of what were were sharing with each other. Joe struggled with his sexuality. He was confused and he was also really conflicted because of his faith. I remember some times that he would change his mind and say he was bisexual or straight.

    Time progressed. We both went through high school and we changed. Joe amazingly came out to his parents, and eventually came out to everyone in his town. He has not always been accepted with open arms but today he currently has a boyfriend and they are very open about their relationship. I am very proud of him for finding the strength to be able to come out like he has.

    Joe and I have been friends for five or six years. We still rely on each other for support and tell each other about what is going on with each other. Its amazing that someone that I have yet to meet is one of the closest people to me. His friendship is something I truly value.

    I plan on seeing Joe in the next year or so. I want to take a trip out there and see him. Part of me is excited about it. It will be nice to see him and his boyfriend and finally give him a hug. The other part of me is nervous about it. It’s much easier to tell people these private things on the internet and then when you see them in person, I imagine it is an interesting feeling. I can’t wait.

    If you would like to see what Joe is talking about these days, go over and visit his blog HERE.

    Posted on February 26, 2009 to:

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