Posts Tagged ‘college’

  • The Straight Best Friend

    By coverthomo

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    Lately, I have had a couple of conversations about my best friend and the dynamics of of the gay man/straight man “best friendship.”

    Let me provide you with my story. My best friend was the first person that I came out to. We both went to high school together and had several classes together. He was your typical jock back then. He was on the soccer team and was the star of the track team. He had a very cute girlfriend who he was truly in love with. I was more of the quiet guy who wasn’t really popular and never really spend much time around school after hours.

    I came out to him one day over instant message during our freshman year of college. He was the first person I told and my heart was racing, I was sweating as I typed in that message. After I hit that send button there was nothing that I could but sit in anticipation. This was his message in response:

    “thats perfectly fine with me dude.. to each his own…. there is nothing wrong with that or how you want to live your life.. if anything ur prolly the smart one.. u dont wanna live with a woman trust me haha.. but yeah dude, ur a good guy, and i respect that u were able to tell me that too. its takes a lot of courage… it takes a lot of guts to tell people something like that… some people care about these things and are weirded out by it, but i respect u and i appreciate the friendship that we have… if this is how u feel there is nothing i can do about it.. I accept you for you”

    I don’t think there is anything more that he could have said to put me at ease. I felt so relieved, so grateful.

    Today, we are still great friends. We often talk with each other about life how old we are getting. When we were kids, we always talked about how we were both going to be successful when we got out of our small towns and now we look back at that and laugh because we are part of the few that did get out and are making something of ourselves. He always comes to me seeking relationship advice which I am always happy to give. We have been making more and more of an effort to hang out together when we can. I am planning on having him over for a weekend in a couple weeks. We don’t talk much about my being gay which frankly, is fine by me. Him seeing me as much more than that is just what I wanted. I feel comfortable talking with him though. Recently when I was going through a rough time, he sensed something was wrong and we were able to talk about it. He truly is a great friend and I am honored to have him in my life.

    I know that coming out to a straight friend may not always go as well as it did for me. Do you have a straight best or close friend? How did he react when you told him you were gay? Are you still close? Let me know in the comments.

    Posted on January 19, 2010 to:

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  • What I Learned From My Trip

    By coverthomo

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    A week ago at this very moment, I was checking out of my hotel. A week has passed and I have needed it to process how I feel about everything.

    I think that this week has affirmed a lot of feelings that I have towards him as well as brought us closer a little bit.

    I got to see his family, his room, all of the things he made in shop class in high school. There were racing posters all over his walls. The room looks like he hadn’t ever touched it since he left home for college.

    We went downstairs and he played his piano and his guitar. He is even better in person than in the recordings. His mother and I watched and talked about him for a couple minutes as he played.

    We went to dinner and we talked about his boyfriend. I really got the sense that he really likes him and that made me feel a little more at peace. We went to a local brew pub later and had a couple drinks and then drove around town for a while. He showed me his high school and the parking lot that he would sit in and get high at night when he was in high school. We just drove around for a few hours looking at all of the different sights before he dropped me off at my hotel.

    The next day was the day I left. He met me at my hotel. His hair wasn’t done in the usual sexy way, just toweld dried from the shower. He seemed a little sad. We both were. We went to a little shopping plaza and just walked around for a while. We were not our usual goofy selves.

    We got lunch and then made our way to the airport. We had time to kill. We were parking at the airport and his boyfriend called. The speaker was turned up loud enough so I could hear his voice. He now felt real.

    We went inside, both not saying much. We made the way to the gate and said our goodbyes. I hugged him and then watched as he walked away. He turned back twice and waved a bit before he was gone.

    I made my way through security and got a soda for the flight. I sat waiting to board and needed to talk to someone. I called my mom. She asked why I was sad. I told her that I didn’t want to leave and I started crying. She told me that I was young and that I should do whatever makes me happy. For once she had something helpful to say.

    I cried most of the flight home. All I could think about was how much I cared about him and how much I wished I could tell him. I was also thinking how much I wanted to kiss him and just hold him or lie in bed with him. At this point I knew that that is never going to be possible, which made it that much worse.

    I think he sensed what I was feeling and maybe felt bad or maybe wished I would address it. Maybe he felt at least some of the same things to some degree. Either way, he was different then.

    I have had a week to think about everything. What I have come away with thus far is that I love him and care about him deeply. I want him to be happy. I want to be the best friend I can be for him and I want to be special to him on some level.

    This trip was good for me. I don’t regret anything. I had a great time and I loved seeing where he comes from and what he was like before I knew him. I hope I get to go visit him again soon.

    Posted on November 1, 2009 to:

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  • The Internet and its Conductivity To Virtual Relationships

    By coverthomo

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    A conversation with a fellow blogger Bryan, made me think about what it is that I seek when meeting people online. In the past, I have had several close relationships with people on the internet. I am curious if I am alone in this or if it has become a norm of my generation. I am also curious as to why developing this relationship online is so much more successful. Some of my very best friends are those I have met online and some I have never met in person.

    The first significant person that I met online was a guy named Eric. Eric and I met under some very odd circumstances online. He was the first guy that I told I loved. I had a very rough childhood and Eric was always there to help. He was in college as I was in high school. Unfortunately, there is a sad story behind it but we don’t talk any more. I still think about him every day.

    Joe and I met on a gay teen website. He was struggling with some very serious issues such as growing up as a gay Catholic in the Midwest. We shared stories and advice. We always appreciate each others company and insight. We still talk a few times a week. I have never met Joe in person, but I intend to soon.

    Back in the day, I had another blog which has since been taken down and I met Kurt on there. Kurt is a guy from California who commented on my blog once and we started talking and hit it off. Kurt and I became good friends and offered each other advice. Again, Kurt is a bit older than I am. Feelings got a little carried away I think on both of our parts but after a while I ended up getting hurt. Looking back, at the time I was angry and upset. Now, I just see how foolish I was for getting that emotionally invested in someone who could never really work out. Kurt and I have not met, hopefully this will happen soon.

    The most recent guy has been the one that visited this January. I have gone into extensive detail about him in the past so I am going to spare the details now. We are best friends for sure but there are more feelings on my end. I know that things will never work out with him, and I am coming to peace with that. Anthony has helped out with this.

    So I ask, “Why do all of these significant relationships start online?” I think part of the answer is simply, the internet provides a place for people with similar interests to come together and talk. I think the other part has to do with the internet being an anonymous place that is more conductive to people revealing parts of themselves because they don’t have to look someone in the eye to tell them what they want them to know. I can sit here alone in my office and pour details about my life into my computer because it is just me and my computer. I know that some people from my “real life” read this blog and there are things in here that I don’t think I could tell them in person simply because some things are not that easy to share.

    The people I have met online have certainly shaped who I am as a person and the internet has provided me the opportunity to meet some amazing people I would not have otherwise had. It is an amazing feeling to feel so much care, concern, and even love for a person that you have never met face to face. It’s a feeling I know I will continue to have for a long time to come.

    Posted on May 11, 2009 to:

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